I don’t have the strength or the energy to do a huge update about the hockey game. I am exhausted still and am focusing on just the basics today. I am doing a bit of light cleaning and some laundry. Otherwise, I am not doing much at all.

But here’s a teaser:

My favorite Redwing, Valteri Filppula #51. He’s so cute :)

…Deb can enjoy!! She can breathe free and happy!!!

Though it is not yet ironed, you can see the finished result.

Mimi modeling my scarf for me.

Detail of the color of the scarf. I love it!

So there you have it, my first finishes of the new year, one knit and one stitched.

Now I have to dig up something else to work on…. *sighs*

Honestly I have no idea why I’m here. I’m bored I think.

I’ve been meaning to take and then post pictures of my completed scarf (Deb forgot to remind me today!) and my now completed stitching project. Now I have to figure out what I am going to work on next. I have no fucking idea what I will be making next. I think tomorrow I will be digging around trying to find something to make.

I’ve considered getting back to doing toy reviews, then I thought about it more and killed that idea off quickly. Boring. Sex with toys is worthless. I’m not even remotely interested in anything physical anymore. That’s what happens when you don’t have good sex (or any sex) for years. You just fall into “fuck off don’t touch me” mode and forget what sex is.

Spending my days home alone is getting tedious. I haven’t done any of the things I promised myself I would start doing. I haven’t gotten back into JD, I haven’t done my cleaning rotation calendar (though I am menu planning) and I haven’t gotten myself into kind of routine for ANYTHING yet. Maybe this week I will finally get my ass motivated and get my life in order.

..but I highly doubt it :/

Lauren had her 15th birthday Friday. Last night we did ice cream cake and had friends out to play cards. Lauren spent Friday night with her bestie and for the most part, things passed quietly. She doesn’t mind as next year is the BIG ONE and she expects to have a really good time. I have a few ideas in place for next year :)

Things have been quiet this week. I baked a bit, cooked and now I am menu planning! We have such a restricted budget that I am struggling to make ends meet. So I thought in an effort to improve my shopping and impulse buying, I would start menu planning to make the week run smoother.

Since Tues, Wed and Thurs nights at least one child has practice, I am making those easy dinner nights. Either the kids heat up soups, raviolis or ramen noodles. The other 4 nights a week, I make dinner and try to plan in advance. I am using All Recipes as an aide to making dinners with things I have here and going through cook books at home and reading several blogs to get ideas. I recently got a 7qt crockpot for Christmas so I am big on using it as much as I can. If anyone has a good crockpot recipe, please feel free to email it ameregirl at gmail dot com.

The menu planning was spawned not just from the budget, but so many of the blogs I read (mainly submissives etc) the women use menus to make the house more manageable. I really liked the idea of running the house more efficiently and not having to stand in the kitchen and wonder what I am going to make for dinner each night. If I can plan a head, then I can minimize the stress of keeping the house running smoothly and use my free time for other things.

I have been stitching the last few days but I keep forgetting to talk about it and I’ve not posted a picture. Deb and I are still planning our 1 hr a week of stitching time together, but with the recent things in my house and her own happenings, we’ve yet to make that time together happen. We have both stitched but haven’t had a moment to do it together yet. I hope that changes next month since this one is half over already. I was going to post a picture of my current project but I lost it :/

This week will also bring about finally implementing a cleaning schedule! The only room I refuse to do is the kids bathroom. Otherwise, I will be cleaning one room each week and trying to keep the dust and such down to a minimum by doing things this way.

I am using Google Calendar to keep my menu going and will start adding the room/area for that day in the calendar as well. I hope to become more organized this way. I am also using The Declutter Calendar as a guide to help organize things as well. I keeps me on track and helps me weed out junk. Having just had the holidays, there are plenty of new things the family got and we can toss out the old stuff without anyone really noticing. That’s key when you have Logan around and he can’t seem to let go of things. I have to do it with Lauren too sometimes but since I am becoming all about organization, then they will too.

Shawn recently went through all his clothes and emptied out more then half his sweaters (that he never wore), weeded out a bunch of his sleeveless t-shirts and ditched dress shirt and pants he has but has never worn. In total, he dumped more then 3 laundry baskets worth of things off at the local Goodwill and made room for things he had stored under the bed and such.

We have emptied out clothes for the kids, ditched old towels, thrown out torn sheet sets and finally gotten rid of all the extra old comforters that were taking up space. Slowly but surely we are making the most of the space we have here. (It’s a REALLY small house!)

But for now, we head off into the great snowy yonder to hit Wal-Mart to grocery shop, get Logan’s meds and come back so I can make Chicken Alfredo for dinner tonight.

P.S. Pinterest has become one of my new obsessions! Care to share? Leave me a msg :)

Slowly but surely the house is getting back to normal.

Monday was tough. We left early with all 3 of the girls. Once we got to the vets office, Morgan walked right in. She let us get her up on the table and she was calm and quiet. Dr W gave her the single shot and about 2 mins later, she had passed quietly and without issue into peace.

It felt weird leaving her there, alone. I felt like I was abandoning her. We did stay a few moments, saying our last goodbyes and crying.

We walked out sad, quiet and feeling like we just lost a part of our hearts. But, the girls, Mimi and Moz, looked confused. Sadly, they could see Morgan laying there for a few moments after it was over. So they were looking around us for her to be behind us.

Moz is taking it hard. When finally home Monday, she ran the yard looking for her. We had put Morgan’s blanket unwashed into Moz’s crate to help reassure her and comfort her. It seems to help but she still looks for her. We gave her Morgan’s dishes as well and she still won’t eat out of them unless I say it’s ok. I hate seeing her so at odds. She was very attached to Morgan and never more then a few feet from her at all times. Now, she paces, she makes new noises (almost like groans and such but deep and throaty, not whiny) and doesn’t go far from me. I can’t even go to the bathroom without her following me and sitting at my feet. It’s not like her to act this way.

The rest of the family is adapting. Shawn and I are taking it the hardest of course, but I am worse since I am home all day long and its my routine is the most upset by the change. We were only a few miles away from the vet when I finally broke and lost it. I sobbed so hard that I was choking for air. I’ve had a few outbursts since Monday but for the most part I am keeping it together.

Now, we are all getting into a new routine with only the 2 dogs. It’s weird, it’s oddly quieter and it doesn’t feel right yet.

Monday night I went into a huge cleaning binge. I moved almost every piece of furniture and cleaned all the baseboards down, vacuumed and dusted. I still have to move my hutch and get under my desk yet. Shawn helped me clean OUT the furniture.. as in the kids had dropped THINGS in them and you could hear it all rattling around when the furniture was moved. In the chaise, we found almost a cup of cereal, ribbons, legos, bristle blocks and a Nintendo DS game! I found almost $2 in change. The couch didn’t have as much but it just had stuff that needed to be cleaned out. I moved things around and opened up spaces I didn’t use before. The whole house smells cleaner. But, we are looking to get rid of our couch and chair and find something else. Morgan’s smell is embedded in both and we want them gone. Partly because they remind us of her and then the smell. We have cleaned and deodorized them and though it has helped, they just need to be gone. The couch is damn near 7ft long and it dominates our living room. I want something smaller.

So now I’m trying to adjust my daytime routine. But there’s moments where it is hard. Having Mimi and Moz help a lot. They are so snuggly now, especially Moz. Mimi seems calmer though Moz still drives her nuts most of the time. They are learning to adapt to having only each other and I found them snuggling once the other day.

Morgan is missed greatly. I doubt I will ever forget her but I will never regret giving her peace. I skipped a lot of the details from my first post to this one. We had a bbq for her, the vet had a lot to say about her to us and then watching her pass. I’m not ready to discuss it all yet as it still brings me to tears. But I know I did the right thing and did the very best I could by her.

Thanks to everyone that has commented here or on Facebook and offered kind words and support. You have all made it easier to cope and slowly heal and move on.

She’s beautiful, isn’t she? That’s Morgan. Morgan is a 14 yr old Border Collie that came into our lives when we didn’t want her. (Picture taken about 3 weeks ago)

My ex husband (Nate’s father, L) is remarried. She, M, had an ex as well, J. J had a dog that was constantly locked outside all day. That dog was Morgan.

We traded J our guinea pig for Morgan. We thought it would be a horrible deal. It ended up being the best deal I’d ever made.

Morgan quickly worked her way into our hearts and every day life routines. She used to sleep in J’s bed but we broke her of that. Morgan has moved with us and adapted to cats and other dogs in the house. Her tail wags in circles when she is excited and she loves popcorn.

Over the 8 yrs we have had her, she has been like another child.. as so many people’s pets become. Monday, January 9th, Morgan leaves us.

After a long talk, and a year of pushing Shawn, the appointment has been set. I spoke to the vet’s office and they say she has cancer. She doesn’t walk well, her skin is a mess and well, she just looks at us like “I’m ready, are you?”.

As I write this, the tears are fast flowing down my face, streaming in hot rivers. She’s my Moo Faces, my Moo-ness, my Morgan Moo Cow. She is a constant shadow at my feet, especially during thunder storms, and the eyes at the table waiting for scraps. Morgan even has her own song “M O O ….. C O W … that spell Moocow!!” It started as a joke and just .. stuck.

But now, I have a 14 yr old dog that is tired, hurting and ready. She walks slowly most day, though the recent snow fall has made her a bit more spry, sleeps 90% of the day and barely goes out anymore. She’s old for a Border Collie (so I’m told) and now, we are saying goodbye.

She is Shawn’s baby. Logan is her boy and she has been his pillow on the floor more then once over the years. Lauren loves her and that was the only dog that would walk on a leash for anyone, especially Lauren. She is my companion while the kids are at school, my vacuum in the kitchen when crumbs or tidbits fall and my alarm clock if I doze in the recliner. She is “Momma” to Moz and easily one the most even tempered dogs I’ve been around. But, she leaves us Monday.

Below are some of our favorite pictures of her over the years. I can’t find the one of her and I curled up in the recliner right after we got her, but you get the idea. She will be greatly missed.

Christmas Day

Christmas Day with both our kids

In June at Mike/Hope’s house

About a year and a half ago. Shawn shocked her by picking her up

Today so didn’t start as I had planned.

I really did want to have a quick but intense orgasm this morning to celebrate the kids going back to school. Didn’t happen.

I really wanted to get back on track with exercise. Didn’t happen.

I wanted to stitch with my sister and yack on Skype. Didn’t happen.

I wanted to get a hot shower, shave my legs, pits and stuff. Didn’t happen.

Instead, E said she was coming so I took a quickie warm shower, and got dressed, tossed in a load of laundry, ate something, fed the 4-leggeds and waited patiently.

Then I realized that my yahoo was acting up and she was canceling … 2.5 hrs later.

So now I’m doing laundry, checking out that new site iTaboo, updated my Fetlife, opened my non-nilla FB, and basically did nothing all day.

Yep, Day 1 of getting my shit together in the new year – ultra fail.

**EDIT** E showed up not an hour after I posted this. So much for totally failing :)

Found on Bad Bad Girl’s blog (now listed as “slave to love”)

“BDSM is how we play, M/s is how we live.” – Living M/s

Lucky lucky girl.

I’m very aware of the fact that I owe a holiday post. We had a lot going on through the holiday season so I’ve not been on much, except to hit Facebook a little. I’ve been horribly sick most of the last week and feeling miserable. Shawn was much the same and still feeling the ill effects. The kids battled a touch of it but they always seem to through it off without much harm done and bounce right back.

I spent the day after Christmas laying in bed with 7 movies, lots of Diet Coke, water, medication and my favorite dog. Shawn got me the first three of the Resident Evil movies, the three Alien movies and House of 1000 Corpses. If you know me or have read long enough, you’ll know I love horror movies. I crave them. I’m a sick bitch but that’s part of the appeal. So I spent the entire day watching my movies with my beloved Mimi and relaxing in the semi dark of my room with little disruption.

Most the week passed uneventfully with the exception of watching the step kids for my friend Steph.

New Year’s was a pretty quiet affair for the most part. Shawn had a former co worker over with his wife with their 14wk old son. Lauren had her brother Caleb over and her boy-”hes not my boyfriend!!!!”-thing over for the night, and her dear friend Amber. The four teens hung out in her room all night drinking energy drinks, playing the boythings Xbox360, watching NetFlix and just having fun. Logan had his buddy Ryan over and they were on the Wii, his PS2 and just being boys. It was nice for the kids to have friends over and be able to hang out.

We played cards and just in general enjoyed our night. I had one drink all night while Shawn pounded several beers. His friend Ed and his wife Nikki, had a few drinks and I had a chance to play with a baby for a while. My poor dogs were confounded by having something small, pink, squirmy and noisy in the house.

Now, all the spare kids are gone. It’s just us. I have sloppy joes in the crock pot simmering away for us all to graze on. Lauren is hanging out in the peace and quiet of her room while Logan goofs around on the laptop.

Shawn and I just watched the Lions lose my 4 to Green Bay and NOT secure the #5 seed in the playoffs. Now they have to face New Orleans. Let’s see how that mess goes.

The new year is going to bring about some changes in my world, and my blog. Deb and I have decided to start crafting more and keeping ourselves busy with things that are more constructive for our lives versus sitting on the pc all day playing our FB games and cruising mindlessly around the net looking for nothing special.

Starting this week, we will be devoting at least one hour a week to cross stitching and likely Skyping while doing so since we each have a nifty netbook to do it with.. and the comfort of our respective recliners to sit in. It’s good sisterly time to talk etc, not tie up the phone and be handy with our crafts.

My blog will take on some changes as well. I will be posting weekly updates of my stitching progress from my time with Deb but also showing off any other crafts that I am going to be trying this year. I have the mind to work on my crocheting skills to improve them. I have also decided that one of my two new years resolutions is to learn to knit.. properly! I can do the basic knit stitch and if I try I can purl but that’s about all I got. So now, I will learn over the course of the year to knit and read the patterns so I can make more then just scarves for folks through out the year. I will be adding some side bar content to reflect on my Works In Progress (known as WIP here after) and my Ready, Set, Stitch! stuff that I will have waiting for me to tackle. They may be things that need finishing or things to start new. I don’t know yet.

My personal life is practically non existent at this point. I still speak to my long distance “SO” but for now, the relationship is at a complete and utter stand still. I don’t foresee any major changes with him. To be honest, I don’t know that I will ever see him again but a girl can hope and pray, right? So my submissive nature is on the back burner for now while I focus on my domestic nature instead and improve my cooking, baking and crafting skills.

I will strive to be healthier this year as well. I started off well enough but stumbled along the way this year. My working circumstances prevented me from really taking good and proper care of myself. Well now that I don’t work, I have no excuse, right?

It will be back to doing Just Dance (JD, any of them) at least 3x a week, and getting back on my EA Active 2 as well. Now that the holidays are over, I can honestly say I did gain about 3 pounds (roughly) and I want it gone. I am going to go back on Alli at some point to help me work back down to the weight I want coupled with dancing/working out weekly. I will be back to using my MyFitnessPal.com account to help keep me on track.

Also, I got a package I’m expecting as well. I won’t say what it is yet, I will wait until it shows up and I can show it off. It will help with a particular endeavor of mine that will help me stay busy, focused and happy. Hopefully it shows up soon so I can utilize it soon and show off a little.

So for now, it’s all about healthier happier living, crafting more and expanding my horizons and working on my domestic skills in cooking, baking and honestly … cleaning.

Another update soon once I finally get off the netbook and sit at the desktop to upload pictures and add some here. Look for my changes to come slowly over the next few weeks, with the help of Deb, and most regular posting.

I hope the new year brings you all you wish for and desire!

Yep, that’s me. With the lack of a job, I tend to find things to keep me busy.

I made a total of 20 double sided dishcloths this season. I used Tunisian crochet to make them with kitchen cotton so they were heavy and washing machine friendly.

I’ve made rice crispy treats about 4 times so far in the last couple of weeks. The latest batch has Nestle mini semi sweet morsels in them. They are YUMMY!

Lauren’s decorated cupcakes.

Lauren attempting to be funny.

Lauren’s friend with her decorated cupcakes.

The rest of the week still has some goodies that need making. Tomorrow is Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cake, the base is crunched up Oreo cookies. Saturday we are going to my mother’s for the holiday but we aren’t staying too long. I am going to see a friend and her family (and Lauren likes the teen age son) then I am off again to drop Lauren off to her father’s parents as they have some unexpected company in town. My niece (well, former) is here from Boston and she wants some time with as much family as can be gathered. Who am I to disappoint my beautiful niece? Lauren will be home Saturday night and then Sunday.. oh Sunday.. will be priceless!!!

After a bit of fun here in the morning I am out the door with the previously mentioned ice cream cake and Cinnamon Struesel Coffee Cake for Mike and Hope’s place. We will hang there, have dinner and play cards. It will be a nice and quiet evening.

Monday and Tuesday find Shawn at home. He had a couple of vacation days that needed to be used up. We plan on tearing the tree down (I don’t leave mine up due to lack of room), cleaning up the decorations in the house and he has offered to help me do some other small things that are just easier with 2 sets of hands.

All in all, the Christmas weekend looks and seems rather busy. I don’t mind, it means time out of the house for me! I can’t get out during the day since he takes the van so being on the go will be a nice change of pace.

New Year’s Eve will be a revisit of last years party! We are hosting it again and having most of the same folks out. Final plans haven’t been confirmed yet but as it looks, I will end up with a houseful which will mean PICTURES and I will likely be in a few.

With all this baking, yo would think I would be putting on my winter weight but oddly enough, I haven’t really gained anything still. I am within 2lbs of the weight loss my ticker shows. I’m not really fluctuating nor am I eating a heck of a lot either. But I am not working out much or dancing much. With extra kids here, I don’t really want to be seen getting all sweaty and nasty so I just don’t bother for now. Once the kids are back in school, I will be back into my routine of dancing regularly.

Deb and I are going to start pushing each other to start stitching again. I have avoided working on my WIP (works in progress) and my finished items for months. So now, Deb and I are going to commit 1 hr one day a week to work on something cross stitch related. We will be keeping tabs on each other with pictures to show our progress and finishing. I have slowly grabbed work that needs finishing, mounting etc and then looked for things I have started that need to be stitched to complete. It’s slow going but worth it. I see my pile growing too. I have a lot more then I originally thought.

Now it’s time to find dinner, settle in to watch the news and relax until tomorrow’s “to do” list hits me in the face.

P.S.
Check out my Goodreads Widget. I am an avid reader and always looking for things to read. If you ever need any ideas for new reading material, feel free to drop a comment or shoot me an email. I will gladly share some of my favorites.