I had to get back on for a moment.

First off, I find some of the BEST links from luna then almost anywhere else on the net, besides my beloved Google Reader.

Secondly, and this is funny, I’ve been chosen to be a reviewer for Eden Fantasys. Oh yes I will get toys and such, try them out and then review them. Hot damn! Free toys and I get to speak my mind about them, good or bad. I am going to totally enjoy this. So if you are in the market for good toys and honest reviews, check out their site. Eden Fantasys. I’ll be posting my reviews here and on the site.

Ok now I gotta scoot. The kids are home, laundry in the washer needs to go to the dryer and I have to try to finally get this vacuuming done.

xoxo

Ok if I didn’t get your attention with the title, then I’ve completely failed. It’s no secret that I am a submissive. Now, we don’t practice alot the lifestyle in our home. Its sparse and yet I still identify with that title. It is who I am. Just because I am not a practicing subbie doesn’t mean I’m not.

So I was roaming the world of blogs thru Google Reader and I had starred a few selections I wanted to go back and view when I had more time and no small eyes around. I found a selection that took me to YouTube. Oh lordy, thank you thank you thank you.

I adore TwistedMonk. I have read that blog religiously for almost 2 years. Monk started posting videos ages ago, all of which I’ve watched. But now YouTube has some of his goodies. He posted them himself and this one I had not yet seen. I am going to post both segement links here for you to go to YouTube and see.

Nothing is hotter then watching Monk bind a girl in mesh and rope. I was on the edge of my seat thru the whole 2 clips.

DAMN! I want to be bound like that!

Monk Pt 1
Monk Pt 2

I think I need a cold shower after watching this.

Actually, its not a full blown ice storm. It was more like blizzard conditions, minimal snow and lots of ice cuz of all the rain. We had rain all day yesterday. Tons of it. Like it melted all the snow in my yard (well dirt actually cuz I have no grass yet) So as the Winter Weather Warning hit, it FLASH FROZE all the fucking rain and the ice is 2 inches thick in some places. Needless to say, no school for my children today. Oh joy. I get to listen to them fight all day. I’m giddy.

So we are all hunkered down for the day, plenty of food and goodies and such. I figure if they really piss me off, Logan has his V-Smile to go play and I can just send Lauren to her room. She has her new bed/desk so she can find ways to stay busy. I may even set up the computer she got so she can tinker around with it. I do want to get that tackled (though maybe not today) and add a shit load of my music to her hard drive. Below, is a picture of the new bed. It gives her SO much more room. Now I just need to get Mom to make the curtains for their rooms. Logan will be the next to get a loft bed, similar to his sisters. His room is even smaller and that would free up all kinds of floor space.

I’ve been using the lidoderm patches on my knee and it seems to help. I don’t use them unless I’m going to work because at home I can rest as I like. They work but I don’t like being so unaware of the pain in my knee. It seems worse when I don’t wear my patch. Either that or I’m just acutely more aware without them.

I plan on getting some more housework done today. I have a few boxes I want to get thru, need to vacuum the house and clean the bathrooms. Our tubs are getting abit yellow. I found out thru getting our water tested that we have alot of iron in our water. 3/4 parts per million to be exact. I can clean my tub all day but I need CLR and Dollar General didn’t have any. I’ll have to get Shawn to get some today while he is out. I can’t stand my yellow tubs.

I’ll be stitching today! YAY! I will finally settle in for abit and stitch for a few. I’ve promised myself at least one hour of complete relaxation and quality stitch time. I will relax with a good movie and do exactly as I promised myself.

It’s time to feed kids, let dogs out and pick up abit and start my day. Later taters!

I’m tired, cranky and getting sick, again.

Needless to say I’m not in the best of moods lately and would rather be somewhere warm then surrounded by the freakin snow that doesn’t seem to stop falling.

My appointment with my doctor (the internal medicine one) for pain management turned out to be fruitful. I now have Norco, Diclofenac and Lidodrem patches to help me get by. I’m seeing the Ortho in March and looking forward to finally being seen and seeing what they think and what the next step is. My guess, knee surgery, again. Oh joy of joys. My right knee was operated on in Oct 2004. I felt decent in the following weeks. Now, I’m right back where I was before I had the surgery. My right knee is grinding, popping and locking. Again, oh joy of joys. So I’ve got the lidodrem patch on and it does help. My knee is numb. Seriously. Slap my knee, I don’t feel it. Much.

The left knee was operated on in May 2006. So far its weathering fine but I know that with babying my right knee for awhile the left will start to suffer and well, that will mean that the left will need surgery again too. It’s a vicious fucking cycle. I hate taking meds and I hate physical therapy. Plus, as I’ve bitched about before, I don’t really have anyone local so I do this alone, outside of Shawn’s help. But well, I’ve bitched about that before. Some days he’s fabulous other days having him here “helping” is like having another child.

So work is finally picking back up and I’m starting to get my hours back. Thank fuck because I am tired of the low hours and shitty checks I had these last couple weeks. I have things I’d like to do and with Valentines Day coming I need to get a gift or two. But then again, I’m feeling cynical today and fuck it. Valentines Day sucks too.

See a trend here?

I don’t feel good, life ends up sucking ass and I post cranky shit. Lovely eh? I’m a joy to be around lately. Maybe I should pop another Norco :)

Think I’ll go stitch and watch some mind numbing television.

*Yawn*

I’m extremely happy to say that I’m getting a bit of a “promotion” at work. It seems my boss has much faith in me and well, I am pretty darn special. So B (my boss) has elected me to drive around to local businesses with flyers (and coupons attached) and establish a relationship as sort of an outside sales person. Not sales like selling them something but sales in the aspect of helping the business thrive and help other businesses in Michigan.

Lets face it, out of all the states in the nation, Michigan is ranked 1st in unemployment and 50th in growth. Lord all mighty, this state has had the life sucked out of it. The govenor hasn’t helped as much as she would like us here to think. She was simply the lesser of the two evils. We have lost more business and companies then she has helped to bring in. 8-1 ratio. How sad.

So B is going to be sending me out to make friends, establish abit of a relationship and try to draw some life back into the store. But this is not all my dear boss has in store for me. Oh no. I am now the offical computer geek of the store. Tuesday night I was called in to help with a program issue that S (office manager) was having. I tinkered and played around and was stumped. It was an ancient program that I had lost my familiarity with, so I called the one person that I KNEW would have a clue. Thanks to my darling Maisy, the problem was solved. I give her 99% of the credit. I get 1% for making the call to her and getting the answers =^.^= She is the one that spent over an hour working on the problem. I just relayed it and fixed the actual computer. I am also going to upgrade their program to something I’m way more familiar with so that this doesn’t happen again.

So I have a two part promotion now. I feel very blessed to have made myself invaluable to them and have access to the office, where many are not even allowed to be. It’s not that I’m better then anyone else there, I just have more knowledge then they do and am more adept with the computer and programs and other such nonsense. Yay me!

I’ve had a lovely email exchange going all morning and I won’t lie. I am thrilled at the positive responses I get back each time we exchange. The emails are nice, cordial and make us both smile. It is someone I’ve not spoken to in years but the door is open and I plan on taking it very slow and establishing some trust back and forth so that the communication can increase and we can see where it goes.

Speaking of email, nothing new from Dad. Admittedly, I haven’t called him either. I don’t want to call yet without he and I setting up a date and time that works and I don’t risk catching him on a bad day or getting one of my step sisters. I’m treading lightly right now so as to not rock the boat and disrupt what has been established thus far. I’m sad though because I have to be so cautious in speaking to my own father. I have to worry over my step mother stepping in and stopping it or having it cause issues for my dad with his family there. I also have to do it here. My mother has no clue I speak to my dad via email or have called him. She would shit nickles if she knew.

It seems I am censoring a great deal in my life lately out of concern for what others think and do but some of it is to protect those that don’t need the drama and bullshit and some of it is protecting myself from being hurt. I don’t want any of my friends finding themselves under a microscope nor do I want to be under one myself so I don’t tell my mom about my call and emails with Dad and I don’t draw my friendships out much in my blog. Nemmy is exempt as she doesn’t blog, or chat. Maisy is exempt as well. She doesn’t care for much of the internet dramas and uses her machine to surf sites and find patterns and write emails to family and friends. I think she would even give that up if it wasn’t a nice outlet for her. M hides away and keeps off the computer as much as possible so as to not have to deal with any of this either. M reads my blog. Nothing more.

My tight knit circle has stayed that way these last months and I have enjoyed the comfortable quiet that has come with it. I speak with few, read a handful of blogs (and comment on some) and basically enjoy my solitude. It’s funny. I’ve spent more time here lately then I have in months. I think it’s time to get back to where I was in the fall and retreat into my silence and just embrace those around me again. No need for all the other stuff. I can post about my happiness and joy and be done with it.

I am considering getting a post up and posting a picture of my stitching. Suddenly I feel inspired and ready to grab my hoop and settle into my recliner and create. I do have a few pieces that are done that just need to be matted and framed. I grabbed glazing points from work and now I just have to find the site that I was given on how to set my work up, lace it and all that jazz. I have my work cut out for me too. I have more completed work then I can shake a stick at. It makes me wonder though. I have to ask this. The person that has the first piece I did and framed, do they still have it? Is it still on their wall? I’m curious as to how its holding up.

Ok I’m feeling inspired! Shower time and then I’m going to stitch! Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.