Yep you will all get probably 2 posts today as I have to do my toy review yet. So stay tuned to this spot, or use a google reader or rss feed to keep up to date with me!

I stitched again last night, and I’m almost totally done with the piece I’ve been doing for Lauren. I’m just working on the outside backstitching and then I’m going to add some custom lettering to personalize it for her. This is the piece I’m doing. There’s just abit of the black edging to do then I can frame it up and have it ready for her when she gets home.

Speaking of which, she leaves either the 5th or 6th of August. Thank God. She’s been a handful and I’m ready for the break from her. I love her dearly but her mouth is so much like mine that I just want to slap it off her sometimes. Plus, I look forward to some one on one time with Logan. She is going to be home no later then the 20th. He’s only getting 2 weeks this year, its his own fault. Once the season was up for softball, he made no effort to get her sooner. Screw him, not my problem.

I’ve become severely addicted to Fetlife lately. Most of my very favorite bloggers are there, some new faves and some of my long standing faves, and even a few new bloggers that I can’t seem to live without already. If you’ve not gone over and checked it out, I highly suggest you do so.. NOW! You can find me there by clicking on the Fetlife button on the sidebar. I’m helping luna as a moderator for the BBW Submission group. I’m thrilled to be an aide to her.

As I laid in bed last night, I was just thinking randomly. This was going to be a whole seperate post but since I’m already here…

Do You …

..ever wonder if others fight the same internal demons that you do? I fight them successfully and unsuccessfully every day. Some days are better and easier then others.

..ever wonder if you couldn’t simply life just abit more? I wish I could just toss out the clutter and start over but I find myself holding to things from my past that I just can’t seem to part with, be it from good parts of my past or bad.

..ever wonder why some friends fully accept you, faults and all, and others sit in judgement or chose to try to force you to be or do something you don’t agree with? I have lived this situation and put others in it. I am who I am, and I make my mistakes. I make them daily and I own them. I have a few things in my life that I’ve had to guard and keep especially safe so that it doesn’t get hurt from the day to day things. Some of my friends would accept it and understand, others wouldn’t. My trust issues are totally shot to hell thanks to previous problems with former friends. I still hurt a great deal over this. I don’t trust anyone anymore and I’ve had to keep myself safe and protected from others because of it. I password posts, or just handwrite in a journal at home. Trust is a big problem for me and I keep folks at arms length because of it.

..ever wonder what life would be like without the internet? I do, and some days I wish it didn’t exist. Other days, the very thought of turning the computer on excites me. One ay I will learn to not need this contraption so much and I can spend my days like I used to years ago, either stitching or reading or maybe even getting outdoors more often. The idea of change THRILLS me.

..ever wish you could start over? I don’t mean like your whole life or even going back to make a choice, but start over a project or a relationship? I do, often. I won’t elaborate much on this but I wish my eyes had been opened sooner then they were.

..ever wonder what you would do without your best friend? I went through this a couple of times. I know though, regardless of what I do, who I am or anything else, that I know Deb has my back. She may not always agree with me or like what I do, but she supports me as long as I’m happy, even if I’m wrong. I go out of my way to try to not hurt anyone else with my choices and she loves me unconditionally. I went through a time period where I didn’t have that with her and now I make sure I give as much as I get from her and let her know I love her fiercely.

..ever wonder why? Just why. Why does it all happen this way? Why do things happen the way they do? I do but I like wondering.

Now, I need to get myself in gear for my toy review. I admit, I’m stalling. I need to eat breakfast first then I’ll get my booty in gear and get the post up.