Sake of Sanity

Tonight is .. not like today was.

I feel like utter shit. My mouth is in pain. I feel like I was punched at the jaw joint right in front of my ear. Vicodin just isn’t helping and the dentist told me to not use anbesol or orajel. Why?

I’ve been quiet the last week. Long story why but I have been.

Today was nice but my mood has since crashed slightly. I vocalized a few things that really brought them more to the surface than I had previously allowed so far. I’m not moody or anything but unhappy and pissed off….yes.

I’m rather resentful tonight. I’m unhappy and just ….. at the point of seclusion. I’m not going to fall away into the dark or anything but I’ve kept my personal life very guarded and secret. It’s been frustrating as hell and I don’t like not being able to talk on my damn blog openly about my life. But I’ve been at the point of keeping things close to the chest because I just don’t need or want the drama that would likely be associated.

I think next week I’ll do a passworded post about what is going on. I need to vent and get it all out there. The password will be given ONLY to those that ask for it and I would prefer via email please.

As for all else, I’m still scared to death about Thursday. Matter of fact, I’ve had several anxiety attacks every day since the decision to do the extraction was made. I get nervous talking about it. If something sets off pain in my teeth, I have an anxiety attack.

Oh and before I go…

Kaya, I’m short on cash so I’ll hopefully be sending the books out after I recoup from my teeth. I’m shooting for about Nov 2. I’ll drop you an email and let you know with a tracking number.

I’m going to go take my vicodin and curl up with some reading. I’m frustrated, upset, and still full of resentment. I’m waiting, always waiting. I really hate it.

Srsly.

Yes I still feel like hammered dog shit. My mouth hurts and I didn’t sleep for shit last night.

Blah.

In an effort to become more cash wise and such, I am now reading Domestic Servitude. I want new ideas for my home and family in a way and I want to cut costs where I can. I’ve added it to my Google Reader (the bible of the internet designed JUST for me) and plan on extracting tons of good ideas from it religiously.

Sure, I’m no slave and I don’t really do domestic servitude. Hell, I’m not even in a bdsm relationship where I can be remotely submissive, but I like the idea of getting the house and myself running better, regardless of my situation.

I was reading the thread on Fetlife in the Domestic Servitude group and found a recipe for homemade laundry soap. Keeping in mind that I do probably 7 loads a week with a variety of clothes and household goods in them, I’m trying to decide if I should undertake doing this or not.

For those that have tried it, what are the key things I should avoid? What are the little tips that you’ve tried that have worked for you? I’m going to buy a 5gal bucket from work for storage (I think) or use one of the pails from our kitty litter that has a top on it. I’m trying to wrap my head around this so I can try to cut corners. I’m always looking for good inexpensive solutions to common household problems.

Ok back to resting. I have to work today at 2 and frankly I’m dreading it. I have to work with the one manager that is highly tempermental. I never know which part of her personality I get to deal with each time I walk in the door. I’ll be packing my cross and holy water today, just in case.

Yes I know. I should be in the recliner but for anyone that was reading, I wanted to update.

I AM having the quad extraction the 29th. My Mommy is going to pick me up at the dentists office and bring me home after. My car may sit there for a day or two, but I’m sure that’s not going to be a problem.

I am to take it easy, take my meds, be sure to finish my antibiotics and keep the pop consumption down to a minimum.

The weekend of the extractions I am hijacking Lauren’s tv/dvd/cable box and hiding out in my bedroom the whole time to heal.

Pictures of Theresa the Chipmunk will be posted. Har dee har har.

Ok back to the recliner. I don’t feel good! I has an owie!