Ok so you get 2 music posts tonight.

This song makes me puddle. True story. Damn Ville Valo .. that voice.

Again with the Ville Valo, but check out Lauri Ylonen. Great vocals. Another song that makes me puddle.

See a trend here? I’m on another Apocalyptica kick.

Yeah I’m in a mood. Does it show?

I created the Sound of Madness.
Wrote the book on pain.
Somehow I’m still here,
To explain,
That the darkest hour never comes in the night.
You can sleep with a gun.
When you gonna wake up and fight… for yourself?

Yeah I know, Bob Seger with Shinedown and Foo Fighters. I cried when I heard this song tonight. It struck a cord with me.

I was in the shower tonight, trying to scrub away all the feelings of anger, frustration and lonliness. I hoped and prayed my “go list” on my mp3 player would skip a couple of songs.

*frowns*

God has a sick sense of humor. It played the only songs that could reduce me to tears. There’s a few I didn’t want to hear because I knew I would crumble emotionally. Damn it.

At least today it is.

I’m feeling beyond selfish today.

The sad part is, today is a good and bad day.

My daughter is currently holding the hand of her father at a funeral for one of his best friends who tragically died Sunday evening. Chuck has been in town a few days and I offered to let her miss a 1/2 day of school to have her be with him today. He needed the support.

Then on another note, a baby was born today. Omg, so gorgeous. This child is going to be a heartbreaker when hes older.

In the midst of all that is this emotional let down. I’m sad for Chuck at the loss of his friend. I’m thrilled about the birth of the baby. But I feel unneeded today. I know it doesn’t make sense and you’re probably thinking “Well fuck Theresa, that’s selfish as hell”. Yes I know. I’m disgusted with myself over the feelings I’m having today.

*throws hands up in the air*

I hate these days, these moods and these feelings of frustration.

Fuck it.

I’m going to go out in the rain and walk awhile.

(P.S. I just updated my Shared Items on the lower right hand side. Theres stuff there from Gray Lily, slavekk, kaya and so many others. Take a min and find the best of their best)

I saw these guys with Trixter and Warrant back in 1991. I always loved this song.

I can never speak alone the way music speaks for me. I let it weave my tale for you.

At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
At last

Taking a page from kaya we are digging out the Halloween goods and sorting through them. It’s raining here so we aren’t actually doing much but figuring out what we have, what we need and what we will use. Personally I don’t care so long as we decorate. Sure we live at the end of a cul de sac but we can still be festive!

I was supposed to go in and work a couple of hours to help out today, but when I stopped in to check to see what was going on and informed the “key holder” for the day that I could only work 1-330, she promptly got pissed off and told me not to bother. So, I’m home, which suits me just fine. My knees are not taking the change in weather well and I can stitch and clean a few things up so I have it easy on my next 2 days off. I don’t need the drama and attitude today anyway.

So far the weekend is calm and quiet. We did our huge grocery shopping and the pantry is full again. So thats one less stresser to deal with. Now I just need to tidy up a few things and get myself ready for the coming week.

I plan on tackling my bathrooms today (with Lauren’s help) and then it’s time to sit in the recliner and complete the “R” today. I start on the wedding piece today as well (tonight I hope) and will get the things needed for the 2 “H”s I need to complete yet for Christmas. Things are coming along nicely.

The coming few weeks are busy. Volleyball is still going, the weather is changing and we will be prepping the yard and the house for the changes. I want to get the gutters done once more, get the snowthrower cleaned up and ready and then (and yes this sounds funny) dig out all the Christmas stuff so I can find it easily this year and not spend a week digging around for it all.

Mass this morning was uplifting. I was happy to go though the material covered today was abit too close to home for my liking. I felt like somehow it was directed at me and had to really focus and think so as not to let it get to me too much. The kids start CCD tonight (at home for the next 4 weeks) and though Lauren has her 7th grade book, she will do the basics with Logan for now so she can get the fundamentals so she learns the prayers and such.

So off I go…. Domestic Goddess @ Work!

The last few weeks have been insanely busy. I know I’ve posted but really nothing major. I know that my blog seems lacking and boring right now. Hell, I’m bored with it myself. I do nothing much and I post even less.

It’s all fluff.

So first off, let me say that I got my parcel! Joe sent me 5 books (on loan of course) to read, and my belated birthday present. I got this lovely sterling silver Eye of Ra pendant. (Picture to follow eventually) I absolutely adore it. As I told him, it couldn’t be more perfect if I had chosen it myself. I just need to find a chain for it so I can wear it. I was so happy I almost burst. So a huge thank you to my beloved Joe for thinking of me and sending books and a gift. You so rock

I got a couple of cards in the mail too. I was gifted with 2 bookmarks. One is silly, a lizard that slides over the page and the other is like a lil metal surf board with a tag that hangs out of it with Japanese words on it, and its purple and pink. Totally perfection. A special heartfelt thank you to the bookmark person for the lovely cards and gifts. They were unexpected and loved.

So far Lauren’s team is undefeated in volleyball. She is really in her element in this sport and seems so focused and positive. She is free as a bird on the court but so entrenched in what is going on that she forgets all else. I am beyond impressed with her and her natural ability on the court. She takes charge, she pumps up her teammates and she gives 150% all the time.

I’m content and happy. Life has relaxed and found a mellow tone. The days drift in and out of each other in a lazy fashion and I find myself finally finding some peace. I see the world changing and shifting slowly and I don’t mind. I’m ok. I’m better then ok. I am happy.

Yeah, I am happy. Perfection is only a few steps away.