It’s the first day of no fear where my blog is concerned. How refreshing to not worry if it will be here when I log in. *sighs in relief*
I have today off, thank goodness and plan on updating my Facebook (I’m slowly getting addicted) and cleaning the house. Lauren wants to download some new music and videos from LimeWire so we will probably tackle that as well.
My personal life is in the shitter. But what else is new, right? I’m pretty much at a loss as to how to recover from what has happened. Any thoughts of good sex, submission or anything remotely close to an adult life are completely foreign to me.
So I’m offically asking/petitioning for help. I need to update the stupid WordPress and I need to be walked through it. I have not a single clue how to do it without fucking up my blog COMPLETELY. Now that I have my blog to keep for another year, I really don’t want to destroy it LOL! HALP!
In the mean time, I am going to do that cleaning I mentioned and try to not shoot myself out of bored.
This blog may lag a day or two, at most. I was blessed with some good fortune and *if* I do lag, it won’t bef for more then a day or two. Never mind, I won’t be lagging at all. The problem was being solved as I was posting this. Maybe I’ll share the details but I don’t know yet.
Other changes: (which require BULLETS!)
I am starting all over again. My personal life just got turned upside again and I am working to start focusing on me. I’m not happy about the change but there is little I can do to control it. It’s one of those matters that requires time to sort out. I have plenty of that, so it seems. Nothing but time on my hands.
My hours got cut at work, which becomes more time for my blog and Fetlife. I am slowly becoming addicted and reading alot of interesting tidbits on there. I hope to blog more regularly and from the heart. It may mean a few more passworded posts but I have alot to get out of me.
Shawn and I are getting along really well. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We are totally broke, not that it’s anything new. I mean like totally. I’m robbing peter to pay paul and putting off bills to keep my head above water. With my cut hours and slow time at Shawn’s job, it’s hard to make ends meet.
The kids are driving me freakin NUTS!!!! I can’t wait for winter break to be over. It also means they arent at home EATING constantly.
With the kids back in school, I can take over Guitar Hero 3 :D Logan got it for Christmas and I am HOOKED! I want more! I need more!
I think I broke my wrist. Or at least fractured a portion of it. I see the Ortho on the 7th.
Did I mention Im hooked on Guitar Hero? Anyone got GH2 for the PS2 they want to get rid of?
Im cutting again ….. alot.
Im making hankys with cross stitch in the corners, even though it hurts my wrist. Im bored.
The kids and I invested in THIS!!!!! tonight. We walked around the grocery store causing issues and laughing like lunatics. It was worth every penny of the $3.99 + plus tax.
That is all. I’m going to read and pretend that I’m ok and pray that my personal life will be fixed and all will be ok.
So tomorrow it all expires. I don’t have the cash so the blog will lag. I’ll get the money (hopefully) before my domain name expires completely and get back to blogging properly. If not, well…. I’m screwed. My whole life of blogging and those I read is wrapped up on the side bar and I’ve not backed it up yet.
Will I miss it? Oh hell yeah.
About the holiday ….
It sucked. Sure it was nice for the kids but for me personally I’d rather have ran razor blades up my arms from wrist to elbow and died slowly in a tub of hot water. Don’t mistake me. I LOVE the holidays but this year it was hard. Betty is gone (the mother in law), Shawn and I are obviously getting along but still it’s weird to know its over and not be touched when he buys me a gift anyway, and the seeing both sides of the family was harder then normal for me this year.
Shawn’s family has no clue about he and I. They have no idea what is coming. Neither does most of my family. It was an emotional strain on the holiday for me to act the happy wifey and though I love Shawn, loving him isn’t enough and I’m not in love with him anymore. He knows it and he was cool and very affectionate but it was hard for us both.
Couple that with me losing my blog for a while and I’m spiraling downward rapidly.
If you try to come by here in a week and you can’t see anything, it’s because my renewal is due and I have no money to pay it.
I’m working on that though. I’m trying like hell to scrape the cash together but Christmas is this week, Lauren’s birthday is in 2 weeks and a month later is Logan’s birthday. It’s a financial pinch this time of year for me.
I WILL renew my blog but I need a touch of help doing it. So please don’t give up on me if my blog is here one day and gone the next.
