The weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delightful. Since there’s no place to go ….

OH BUT WAIT!!!!! There is!!!!!!!!

I just won 2 tickets to Non Point HERE tomorrow night.

HA top that bishes!!!

I’ll be happily semi almost drunk and hearing some rockin’ good music. Thanx so much to my local radio rock station, that chose ME from everyone else that entered via Facebook!

WOO FREAKIN HOO!!!!

bitch. She dumped on us yet again last night. I don’t have totals but we are somewhere in the range of 6-7 inches of snow, maybe even 8.

Shawn and the kids are currently digging out the driveway while I am in the house being domestic. Today was the last day in mid winter break so either way the kids would have been home.

Luckily for me, they weren’t too annoying and have been tame. They have kept to themselves and only come out to get the basics. All in all, aside from the snow it has been a lovely day.

It is truly beautiful outside. I’m happily tucked away in the house, away from the cold.

I have been domestic. Lauren and I tackled the vacuuming and dishes together. I have laundry going and then Lauren and I are going to clean the bathrooms.

She did her chores quickly today. I suspect it goes with having her tv back in her room (dvd player too) and wanting to do as she pleases (within the parental controls I’ve set on her cable converter box) and enjoy her room again. I can’t say I blame her. It’s been nice to not have to share the tv in the living room with her today. But I do miss the ability to go in my bedroom and watch tv quietly from bed. Bed is for reading anyway, who needs tv in there?

I think I’ll resume my domestic tasks. I feel good, smiling, happy and enjoying the calmness of the house. Let’s hope it lasts.

It seems things sort of fell apart when I wasn’t looking. I didn’t have a meltdown but just started to feel … like somehow things changed. One thing I noticed was something that should have been told to me directly instead of me finding out by looking it up online. Instead I was shocked and hurt and frankly given a really lame reason for the absence of a link I tried to view.

What the hell happened? I don’t know. I suspect things are changing again. I just haven’t a clue where they are going.

So life is busy, or well it tries to be. I’ve been busy but also just plain lazy.

I talked to my oldest boy Nate on Logan’s birthday. We talked for about a half hour. It was nice but weird and awkward. He later admitted to my mother it was the same for him but we are both willing to work at some more communication. It’s a start. It’s been almost 3 yrs and I think its about time we both grew up on this and tried to move forward. He won’t friend me on Facebook because his father will freak the hell out. *Insert eye roll here* I respect that but inside I thought “who the hell cares!?”. Either way I’m talking to my son and it’s really nice. I feel sorta like a mom again.

Valentine’s Day was pretty lame here. Shawn got me a “cozy” (the Spencer’s version of a “Snuggy”) that was covered in skulls. It’s a trio of skulls with the center one being the largest. It’s mouth is wide open and I’d show you a pic but .. I don’t have one and I can’t find one online. He also got a couple roses the day before a card. I didn’t do a thing for him, much to his chargin, and he understood but still didn’t like it.

I’ve been captivated by my stitching (sorta). I’m doing another letter from the M Designs alphabet series. I’m just gonna hammer those out and find folks to give them to. It’s easy, mindless and I don’t have to think. I have only 2 complete sets of fabric/threads/pattern that I can do and neither appeal to me, so the alphabet wins.

I’m not reading again. I keep getting distracted. Last night was the Westminster dog show, or actually the first night of it. I love dogs, so I watch. I enjoy seeing the breeds, learning about new ones and seeing if there’s anything that catches my eye. I saw a few I liked. I think my next “big” dog will be an American Bulldog. I like those. I love the gait and I like how they are low to the ground. I don’t like BIG dogs or tall dogs. I like them lap-able and cuddle-able.

On the dog front, my beloved Morgan Moo-Cow is slowly getting worse. She is going blind and her hips are cause for much pain. She slips and falls in the snow and cries out. She is going to be put down this year. She is 10 (roughly) and though it will KILL me, I don’t want her to suffer. I have a female customer where I work that has a litter on the way. Her son’s Boston Terrier went into heat and my customers 2 dogs (1 a pure bred Boston other a pure bred Chihuahua) both got to her. I am getting a female. Should I ever get a DNA test to see if the pup is purebred, she will give me papers. I am getting the lil girlie for free. Free is good. Morgan will stick around long enough for Mimi to transition enough then go to be quietly put down and out of pain.

Torry (our Tonkinese cat) is going to be put down as well. Near as we can figure, she is roughly 13-15. She is starting to pee on the linoleum flooring we have under the dog dishes and cat litter box. I won’t tolerate a peeing cat in my house. Shawn is heart broken because both animals are primarily his (though Morgan is ALL of ours, its “his” dog) and both need to be put down. It’s not easy but I won’t let Morgan suffer and Torry is peeing. That’s the nastiest foulest smell EVER and doesn’t come out of carpets even after shampooing. She will soon. Morgan will wait abit and then go as well.

All is good and quiet with the kids. They are still alive and haven’t driven me to the point of drinking.. yet.

Fat Tuesday is today and we will have out paczki’s, have Mass tomorrow for Ash Wednesday and all of us are giving up something for Lent. Lauren is giving up soda, Logan is giving up candy, Shawn is going to quit smoking (again, lol) and I’m giving up swearing (and making an effort to cut my soda intake down to 1 each day I work and none on non work days). I’ll bet Shawn is the first to cave but I’ll likely be a close second.

Off to busy myself with things that don’t involve the computer.

Have a paczki and a smile!

Dear self,

You need to put up a blog post. No one knows that you’ve spoken to Nate recently. (Nate is my oldest that I rarely mention here so my readers may have no clue who it is) plus no one knows you cut 4+ inches off your hair.

Self, you are getting too lax with posting and should make more of an effort to update or the whole 3 ppl that read your blog will give you up for dead and move on.

*bitch slaps self*

Get to posting woman, you got an early day Monday and no excuse to not post something of real substance.

Love,

Self

P.S
Tuesday was Logan’s birthday and he turned 8, today is his party and the boys are going bowling. Shame you can’t go self, your sorry ass has to work

I got called in earlier then my shift. I knew this last night. So today I will clock 7 hrs, which is abnormal for me. I don’t get shifts longer then 5 (because any thing over that means a lunch break) so today I am up early and slowly willing myself to get ready.

The last few days have been a struggle. Not only have I had to deal with my wrist issues, there is the matter that my Mom is going through a difficult period.

She does home health aide for several older women. Her longest client Marianne, passed away this week. My mother is currently across the state in Livonia for the funeral. She is staying with some members of Marianne’s family. She had taken care of her for 4yrs and though they saw this coming, it was still hard emotionally on my mother. I feel for her, I really do.

Add to this that my dear friend Bill has suffered a loss as well. A member of his family, Papa (short a’s, like pat without the t) passed. Last night was the viewing and today is that funeral. (Both funerals on the same day, *shivers*).

Two people I care for deeply are greiving today and I am helpless to do little more then comfort and offer support. I know its enough for both of them but those that know me, know I hate to sit idly by and watch those I love suffer.

It makes me grateful that I’m working today, and longer then normal. I can submerge myself in my job and try to let it wash me away. The rest of the weekend proves to be just as busy. Tomorrow Lauren has a choir concert at the high school, two of othem actually. We were allowed tickets to only one review of it of course. Our district isn’t big but we have big families.

Sunday is the Super Bowl of course. I am personally cheering for the Colts while most everyone else I know is yelling for the Saints. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of either team but I like Peyton Manning and admire his charitable work. Hence my cheering for him.

I find myself bored lately. Tv doesn’t help, reading is ok and my stitching is becoming left for dead again. I can’t finish one project because it seems a handful of the threads aren’t in the bag I had it all together in. I don’t have the complete list of colors either. So I’m screwed on that one. I have little else to stitch currently. Either I need fabric or threads or I have things to stitch but they are slightly above my level of stitching or I have fabric and threads but no pattern. Talk about major suckage. There is no store locally. I have to either drive to Battle Creek or Plainwell or order online. None of which are options for me due to financial strains.

Little League sign-up needs to be paid for Logan (Lauren isn’t playing this year), there’s a double clinic at Courthouse for volleyball the week of Spring Break that she would rather attend so I have to pay for that. Chuck is supposed to pay the bulk of it but heaven only knows when I’ll see that money. (More on why in a few) . To top it all off, Logan’s birthday is next week. Christmas to early February is an expensive time of year around this house. Holidays, birthdays, little league and clinics drain my wallet faster then I can fill it. Just another reason I’m glad for the extra hours today.

Regarding Chuck and the money situation… its like this. First he owes me for replacing the POS mp3 player he got Lauren for Christmas. He bought a really cheap crappy thing. She asked for a particular one, not overly expensive and showed him pictures. She also told him more then once that she didn’t care if it was the ONLY thing he got her. He didn’t manage to get that right. He owes me $35 for the upgrade to the right one. (No, not an iTouch or anything but a nice Sansa Fuze 4gb). Part of our divorce is that he pays for sports along with me. If I pay to get the equipment, he pays the fees. Being that I have Lauren it makes more sense for me to buy the things she needs as I know what sizes etc to get. So he pays the fees (softball is $70) and I do all the other stuff. I get help from family for equipment, thankfully, but he doesn’t know that. I do all the running and leg work though. It’s a far trade. So he is paying for the double clinic at Courthouse (his normal $70), I’ll cover the last $10 and get her there, or Shawn will. So he ows me $105 but… his dad is in the hospital.

They found a tumor on his bladder. Chuck just showed up late last night to be here for the surgery. Lauren is a might bit pissy that no one told her about how things were going, or what was going on but she’s 13 and needs to focus. Chuck on the other hand didn’t warn her he was coming up (she knew her Grandpa was sick)  so shes highly pissed at him for not saying anything. Shes more upset that she may not even see her Dad. That’s not my fault. But shes 13 now and the AntiChrist. Nothing makes her happy unless shes getting her way, right?

As for me, I muddle through it all and watch for the outcomes. I can’t do much in any of the above mentioned situations but sit back and see how it all plays out and be here to collect the pieces and offer my shoulder for support.

I just wonder when I will have that same shoulder offered for me. I need a good heart wrenching almost puke from doing it so hard cry. I have alot to unload and no physical way to let it out. It’s caged up inside me and I have to hold it down and let it wait until the right time. I’m not upset or anything, it’s all just pent up emotion from Christmas, stress, work, kids and personal things that needs an outlet. I’ve surpressed it for so long that I just need to cry it all out. I just have no one to cry on. I need arms around me, a box of tissues and soft comforting words while hands stroke my hair to let me really let loose as it all flows away. Then I can pick my head up, start over and be the person I normally am.. happy, quiet, content and relaxed. Until then, I’ll just be waiting.

Quick so the long and the short of it is this:

• I have a cyst
• It is .81cm tall
• It is in the ulnar styloid area
• It hurts like a son of a bitch
• Dr Ryan gave me a cortisone shot today
• It hurts like a son of a bitch
• I have to wait one mont to see if the cortisone shot helps at all before we go any further

That is all.

FFS…

Theresa

I have NO clue why I felt compelled to pick this back up… but I liked the questions.

Courtesy of Thursday Thunks

1. You walk into a room, someone turns and looks at you and laughs. What do you do?
– Look at them, make sure they see me, note a flaw of theirs, smirk and keep walking.

2. You find an egg, take it home and keep it warm. It hatches. What type of dinosaur is it? Do you keep it and name?
– Something that’s a herbivore and name it Bubba. Oh and its small, like.. dog sized.

3. Which superhero would you want to be related to and why?
– Well see, I don’t know. I thought WonderWoman at first but that’s only because in my mind she looks like Linda Carter and she was just stacked back in the day. But there’s so many cool women to look up to nowadays. But I’ll go with my gut. GO LINDA CARTER!

4. A drunken sailor comes up to you on the pier…he begins harassing you in a most repulsive way….what’ll be your defense?
– Be just as crude and crass back, fake that I give a damn and shove his ass in the water. Let that sober his ass up.

5. Entering a CLASS A piano bar, you’re encouraged to sing atop the grand instrument…you grab the microphone and sing…..
– Ella Fitzgerald “At Last”.

6. If you were a character in a Dr. Seuss book/movie, who would you be and why?
– Sam I-Am. Im a nagging bitch that way.

7. If you have just been called to be a substitute in the Winter Olympics for your country (apparently everyone else was busy), what sport(s) will you compete in?
– Oh see I’d be the color announcer. I’m not athletic at all. I’d be the one critiquing everything and making fun of the other countries outfits and stuff.

8. Did the audience from the piano bar in question #5 applaud when you were done with your song?
– Sure they do, they are forever grateful I’m done. I sound like a strangled cat.

I always run to you. You’re my only safe haven.

You’re the only thing I need.

I’d go thru this and more….