Slowly but surely the house is getting back to normal.

Monday was tough. We left early with all 3 of the girls. Once we got to the vets office, Morgan walked right in. She let us get her up on the table and she was calm and quiet. Dr W gave her the single shot and about 2 mins later, she had passed quietly and without issue into peace.

It felt weird leaving her there, alone. I felt like I was abandoning her. We did stay a few moments, saying our last goodbyes and crying.

We walked out sad, quiet and feeling like we just lost a part of our hearts. But, the girls, Mimi and Moz, looked confused. Sadly, they could see Morgan laying there for a few moments after it was over. So they were looking around us for her to be behind us.

Moz is taking it hard. When finally home Monday, she ran the yard looking for her. We had put Morgan’s blanket unwashed into Moz’s crate to help reassure her and comfort her. It seems to help but she still looks for her. We gave her Morgan’s dishes as well and she still won’t eat out of them unless I say it’s ok. I hate seeing her so at odds. She was very attached to Morgan and never more then a few feet from her at all times. Now, she paces, she makes new noises (almost like groans and such but deep and throaty, not whiny) and doesn’t go far from me. I can’t even go to the bathroom without her following me and sitting at my feet. It’s not like her to act this way.

The rest of the family is adapting. Shawn and I are taking it the hardest of course, but I am worse since I am home all day long and its my routine is the most upset by the change. We were only a few miles away from the vet when I finally broke and lost it. I sobbed so hard that I was choking for air. I’ve had a few outbursts since Monday but for the most part I am keeping it together.

Now, we are all getting into a new routine with only the 2 dogs. It’s weird, it’s oddly quieter and it doesn’t feel right yet.

Monday night I went into a huge cleaning binge. I moved almost every piece of furniture and cleaned all the baseboards down, vacuumed and dusted. I still have to move my hutch and get under my desk yet. Shawn helped me clean OUT the furniture.. as in the kids had dropped THINGS in them and you could hear it all rattling around when the furniture was moved. In the chaise, we found almost a cup of cereal, ribbons, legos, bristle blocks and a Nintendo DS game! I found almost $2 in change. The couch didn’t have as much but it just had stuff that needed to be cleaned out. I moved things around and opened up spaces I didn’t use before. The whole house smells cleaner. But, we are looking to get rid of our couch and chair and find something else. Morgan’s smell is embedded in both and we want them gone. Partly because they remind us of her and then the smell. We have cleaned and deodorized them and though it has helped, they just need to be gone. The couch is damn near 7ft long and it dominates our living room. I want something smaller.

So now I’m trying to adjust my daytime routine. But there’s moments where it is hard. Having Mimi and Moz help a lot. They are so snuggly now, especially Moz. Mimi seems calmer though Moz still drives her nuts most of the time. They are learning to adapt to having only each other and I found them snuggling once the other day.

Morgan is missed greatly. I doubt I will ever forget her but I will never regret giving her peace. I skipped a lot of the details from my first post to this one. We had a bbq for her, the vet had a lot to say about her to us and then watching her pass. I’m not ready to discuss it all yet as it still brings me to tears. But I know I did the right thing and did the very best I could by her.

Thanks to everyone that has commented here or on Facebook and offered kind words and support. You have all made it easier to cope and slowly heal and move on.