Through the last week or so, I’ve had to pick apart things, let go and find a better and healthier path for myself.

I cleaned out my purse. I found a few things tucked away in there that always kept me grounded to the recent past and have either tossed them out or tucked them away in a box for when I can appreciate their beauty independent from where they came from.

I cleaned out my mp3 player. There were a few songs that were preformed by someone and a few that were associated as well. Those have since been removed.

But what I learned hasn’t been removed. I am beautiful, just the way I am. I am curvy, vuluptous and sexy. My hair is amazingly rockin, my eyes can illict a deep burning desire and my voice is a velvety smoothness that can make the hardest edges soften.

It took me a long time to see what was there and appreciate the view from an outside perspective. But the ability has grown and I have found a way to make it work to my advantage.

I belong to myself, for the first time. I own me completely and take pride in it…. for the very first time. The road to getting here was bumpy and frought with some unsavory things but the past is behind me and I can set out on a new and brighter future.

I am a part of something bigger and better. I have started today on a new journey, not just emotionally but physically as well. Thanks to a special group of women (and Luna) I have all that I need in support and desire to improve myself. It’s not just the emotional me that is improving, its the physical.

Eat your <333 out.

The routine at home is calm and sedate right now.

Shawn and I have spent much of the last few days working on the yard. We had sprayed down a good layer of Pasture Pro earlier this summer and we have no weeds in the yard anymore. You can actually walk on the grass.

We have a miniscule pad of cement that goes out from the backslider. We had some wood laying around and we are building a small flat deck finally. There was no place for the outside table and grill and it was taking up too much space in the garage. So a deck is being added so there is a reason to actually start using the backslider.

School can’t start soon enough. Laws in Michigan prevent the kids from going back until after the Labor Day holiday is over. I wish they could go back sooner but sadly I am waiting. Lauren is driving me nuts and Logan is anxious to see his new classroom. Neither of them are completely prepared for school but there is little left to do. Logan just needs shoes and Lauren gets nothing more until she finds out if she needs special things for any of her classes.

Work is work and thankfully my hours will be shifting with the school year. I am off freight now as well. My poor knees can’t take it and I don’t like being there that late when I know I have to be up early in the morning with the kids.

I’ve been stitching away at my gifts. I am loving the feel of the perle cotton and the look is lovely and gives it more depth then normal floss does. I think I’ll have to do more perle cotton stuff later on.

My latest read is Our Lady of Babylon by John Rechy. It’s been interesting so far and I’m not far into the book. This is one I think kaya may want to read once I’m done with it. She and I are considering a book swap. It will be another way to keep my mind busy. Of course, right now shes off at spankfest being used a ring toss. I’m so jealous LOL!

It’s been raining on and off for 3 days here and my joints are killing me. I’m going to have to see a new Dr regarding my knees. My boss’ boss gave me the name of his ortho in Grand Rapids and I will be calling soon to see if they take our insurance and see if they will see me. I don’t know yet if I need a referral. Hopefully I can get in and get this mess dealt with. I am in pain on a regular basis now and in need of something more then just pain pills to keep it managable. Until I get that, I keep icing and keeping my knees wrapped up as much as I can, and taking the least amount of meds I can to keep myself walking. The coming winter will not be pleasent if I can’t get a resolution to it soon.

On another note, I am joining up with a couple of others to form a private support group. We are all interested in dropping a few pounds and need the support of others. I am smaller then I was but I need the drive of other women that are like minded to help nudge me along, just like they do.

Now it’s time to go stitch, wrap some heat around my knees because they are stiff and cold. I am going to rest and take the day to enjoy a few movies.

P.S.
I still need to update this damn thing. I want to make some changes but I’m so not good with Wordpress. HALP!