November6
The last several days have been full of ups and downs.
First, let’s start with Logan’s appointment. I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to afford it since I recently lost my medical insurance. After talking to the office manager, I am making payments for the visit. The Dr and others found me help in getting the medication paid for by the company that makes Vyvanse. I won’t be paying for his medication for the first year. I am -SO- incredibly thankful. I would have done anything to pay for it, including letting my internet/phone/cable tv go. It’s not about me, it’s about what my children need and Logan REALLY needs this medication.
If you know or have a child with ADHD and you find other medication isn’t working, please take a look at Vyanse.
I was kidnapped yesterday by Stephanie to assist in her Christmas shopping. I was picked up at 1pm and not returned home until 10pm. I spent a total of 9 hrs out with her (along with Lauren and Amy) and OMG am I hurting today. My poor feet and knees are a wicked mess. We cruised all over our local mall, Toys R Us, Lowe’s, ABC Warehouse and TJ Maxx. I have NEVER shopped so much in my entire life… ever. I am doing it all over again next Saturday. I am a masochist, does it show?
Lauren is fighting off a wicked cold. She feels like absolute crap. She dosed on Nyquil last night and Dayquil today. It’s about the only way she can function. Logan had his buddy Ryan over and they have taken over my Wii for the morning. I don’t mind. Everyone is happy and it gives me time to post here and update.
I found yarn to knit Stephanie a scarf, thanks to her basically picking it out herself without knowing its for her. I found a nice purple for myself since I’m the only one without a handmade scarf. Personally, I’d like to learn to make a shawl but I don’t have the patience just yet for that.
I have spent the last couple of days (before the weekend) cleaning like crazy. Deb can testify, she heard me doing it. Tomorrow I start on the kitchen and tear it apart to get it clean. I’m working through a great deal of internal stress and emotions. I need the cleaning to help me get to where I need to be.
I dealt with a lot of anxiety last night, after shopping. Our Ford Explorer (the poor beast) needed the front brakes done. They had all but gone out on Shawn while driving. Needless to say, they were actually seized up. Good thing he wasn’t killed in the process of driving the damn thing. The anxiety came from the fact that the parts that were required to fix the entire brake system cost around $275. Stephanie’s husband Theo, (whom Shawn used to work with) paid for it all. When Shawn told me the news, I broke into a deep sobbing cry against him and instantly started calculating when I could start paying them back and how much I could afford. I was promptly informed it was a Christmas present. My jaw hit the floor and I started sobbing even harder. Plus I was informed that the family and I were doing dinner with them tonight as well.
It is times like this I wonder what I have done to deserve good people in my life. I am not the best person, best mother or best wife. I am not always patient, kind and considerate. I don’t give until it hurts and I do put my own needs first very often. I pay my bills and such but then I look to what I can squeak out for a treat for myself. (Even if it is only a medium fry and chocolate shake from McD”s once in a while).
I am not an overly religious person but it was this instance that reminded me that things work in their own way. So due to that, I say this:
Thank You Lord. I am not worthy to receive such kindness and generosity from those around me. Thank You for blessing with a wonderful loving sister in Deb, kind and understanding friends like Stephanie and Theo and Your love and blessings. I will do my best to pay it forward and give to others when and where I can afford it. Thank You for the helping hand when I needed it most. You reminded me of the good and special things in life, when I thought my world would come crashing down around me my feet.
That having been said, I have to meet a young man that wants to date my daughter soon, get a shower and clean up around the house before we have dinner with our friends and plan out my week of cleaning. I am also starting to figure out how I will pay to renew my blog. At this point it’s one of the only outlets I have and I will NOT let it go. I need this space more then I knew and I’ll be damned if I will sacrifice it so easily.
